About 15 minutes into Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, I thought, "whatever this mess is, it sure isn't Indiana Jones." In this world of empty promises and false advertising, a movie that truly delivers the goods can be a breath of fresh air. Allow me, then, to honor the following five films that deliver exactly what they promise.
5. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
Let's be honest. Good Lieutenant: Port of Call Minneapolis probably wouldn't have been terribly interesting.
4. Snakes on a Plane
Imagine my surprise when snakes started showing up on this plane.
3. The Human Centipede
And it's 100% medically accurate, to boot!
2. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
1. Ernest Goes Anywhere; Ernest Does Anything
Whether it be a trip to summer camp, the saving of Christmas, or the simple act of being scared stupid, the late, great Jim Varney was never so cruel as to pull a fast one on us.